Today is ‘World Mental Health Day’ and I wanted to share something with you. I have been an ‘artist’ for as long as I can remember. A Comic Book artist, a Concept Artist and now a Storyboard Artist. But in spite of thirty years drawing stuff I consider that I have only produced one piece of real ‘ART’ in my life. This…
So what’s the difference? I consider that all my other work is basically Illustration or problem solving. I love it and it uses the skills I have accumulated over the years. In it’s own way it is ‘Art’ but the piece above is something else. It comes from somewhere else.
20 years ago I had – for want of a better term – a ‘breakdown’. I won’t go into the reasons why but suffice to say, I shut down. I felt it impossible to engage with my life, my work, my relationships and ultimately myself. At that point I was referred to a counsellor and over the course of a year I looked at what it was that had me disengage from life. During this experience I produced this piece of art. What makes it very different from everything else I do is that it was completely spontaneous. I didn’t think about what I was doing. I had a very vague image in my head that I needed to get down. The image was in no way clear. Like it was in a fog or behind an obscured pane of glass. More of a feeling I guess or a half remembered dream. I found bits and pieces of board, metal, nails and paint colours that I just picked up intuitively. The black spilling over the edge of frame was intuitive. The white border on the top right side of the piece was intuitive. As was the placing of the nails, the small key (that I just happened to find) that hangs on the edge of the frame in the top right corner, the sections of wood that I used to make the frame etc. And the small square of vellum tacked in the middle on which I wrote a poem. The poem just fell out of my head and onto the paper. It is tacked onto the board back to front. And I knew, intuitively, when it was finished. I took it to my next counselling session. Now here is the thing that is absolutely key in this. My counsellor looked at it and asked me if it was ok if she said what she saw in it. I agreed and what she said to me was incredible. Everything that she described made perfect sense. It was clearly what was going on and I hadn’t even seen it. From that point on my journey back to myself began.
So why am I telling all this? Well as I said, today is World Mental Health Day. I know from personal experience what it is to feel that pain. I also know what it is that makes the difference. The counselling gave me the opportunity to be really heard. A chance to say and express absolutely anything, with no fear of judgement. With that in place and the love and support of my wife, family and friends I was ok. So on this day and after please consider that anyone who you know or encounter that seems to be dealing with something only needs one thing to help them get back to who they really are. They need to be heard. Listen to them without judgement or agenda. You don’t have to have answers, or fix them or tell them what to do. Just authentically ‘hear’ them. If you do that you will be making a huge difference to the life of someone.
Currently reading this gem of a book at the moment. If, like me, you love a bit of philosophy then this is the one for you. What makes this great is that not only does if give a short chapter to a whole host of ‘Great thinkers’ but it does it with the intention of showing what they had to say that is completely relevant in todays world. Politics, Art and Life in general are all handled through everyone from Plato to Coco Channel and a host of others. And as is the way with philosophy, it has really made me think 😉 Not just think but reconsider what is important to me, my life and the world around me. Great stuff. May well be sharing some snippets and insights from this.
Recently I was caught inside a bit of indecision.
The amount of time that I have been working on the kids TV show in Wales was suddenly going to be cut short. Budget concerns and all that. Staring in the face of only having two days a week of income from that wasn’t fun so, I put the word out to see what other opportunities came up. Almost immediately a couple of gigs were presented to me. One, to design a new TV show and one to be involved in the design of a new animated movie. This put me in the position of not quite knowing which way to turn…
One of the projects didn’t work out so it was a choice of… do I leave the show that I am working on in Wales. Which incidentally I am co-creator of. Or do I jump ship and go work on the movie. By the way, the movie would mean being away from home all week and a lot of travelling etc.
Still with me? life is complicated sometimes, right?
Anyway. I pondered these choices. The third possibility (and in some way quite an attractive option) was to not do the movie (save on all that travelling and hotel living), continue working part time on the show in Wales (you know, the one that I co-created) and just spend the ‘downtime’ doing sketches and selling bits of art and some books online to make ends meet. Sounds pretty cool and laid back, I thought.
Then something happened.
I was out walking our little dog, Eddy. Oh by the way, Eddy (well an animated version of Eddy) will be appearing in the kids show. Ya know, the one being produced in Wales, ya know, the one that I am co-creator of etc, etc. So, I am out with Eddy and I suddenly notice something out of the corner of my eye. A quote stencilled on the back of a car. A bright blue Subaru parked up the road. I read it and moved on.
Now then. there is an old saying in life coaching circles (and there are many variations of this) that goes something like ‘you are always where you need to be’ or ‘you are always in the right place’.
I looped round the block and passed the car again. And stopped and read the quote. It is by Colin McRae, the Subaru rally driver who tragically died in a helicopter crash a few years ago. It read… “If in doubt, flat out”
And there it was. the answer right in front of me. DON’T kick back and just survive. Don’t step over doing things because it will be difficult. I was in doubt what to do so… flat out was the way forward.
I got in contact with the relevant people and put together a plan to be able to work on BOTH projects. Yes, it’s going to be hard work but, be involved in making a movie and work on your own TV show? Bit of a no brainer really.
Thanks Colin. You created a breakthrough for me there.
And don’t forget; you are always where you need to be. Not because you necessarily want to be there, or would choose to be there. But because it is where you are. And wherever you are is the place where you will have an opportunity to learn, grow and experience. Anywhere else is not where your life is happening.
I had the pleasure today of giving a talk to the Foundation Art Students at Brookes University in Oxford. Have done a couple of these and they are always fun. Being able to give the benefit of hindsight to the students is a joy. My career has had many ups and downs and changes in direction. All seems a bit chaotic at times but as I look back at some of those moments when everything seemed to change I can see that it wasn’t all just good or bad luck. Hindsight is a wonderful thing that sometimes enables us to see what we would have done differently to avoid certain circumstances. But for me, it is not that kind of hindsight that is interesting. What I can now see, and what I love to tell the students, is that if I knew then what I know now I could actually have caused some of those career breakthroughs rather than just rely on the luck that sometimes came my way. These insights have formed the basis for a new online lecture that I am developing. This will be available on my website or through an online lecturing platform. I told the students today that I was going to use them as guineapigs. Many thanks to them for letting me test it out.
More news on the online lecture when I have had a chance to fully develop it and film it.
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